Most Definitely T.G.I.F.

I try to follow my own advice.  I actually manged to do so, both last night for the most part and this morning.  

I have counted up to as high as 398, several times.  It would have been higher but more than several times I lost count.

I do my absolute best to bite my tongue at public meetings, when a member of the audience.  I try to stay in the back of the room.  I will mutter under my breath, shake my head in disbelief, tap my foot, silent count up, over and over again.

Problem number one last night for me.  The unbelievable length of discussion on comp time.  Problem number two.  The absolute difficulty in listening to the discussion.  

Granted, the concerted being held upstairs contributed to the noise in the room.  That actually was probably a good thing.  The music actually sounded pretty good.  what do they say about how music can soothe?

Even on a non-concert night however, unless you are front and center, you can observe people everywhere straining to hear.  But I digress.  Noise alone isn't what made the discussion painfully difficult to listen too.

Problem number three. After a 45 minute discussion and useless chastisement, after talk about a problem having existed over several years, after talk about setting precedent, two of the three vote simply to allow another re-occurrence of a practice that two of the three of them have known about for more than just this one occurrence.

Problem number four, stop feeling the need to go out of your way to reference anything I may say in whatever capacity.  It has become readily apparent to me that the vast majority of times, over too many years, by too many selectmen, it is only done to either throw out a zinger or for pandering.  

But again, I somewhat digress ...

Do not sit there and kid yourself that the lack of a formal policy and procedure not existing for comp. time was a legitimate excuse for the 2 to 1 vote last night.  The reference to having deal with the same issue previously, several times, would have been more than a legitimate reason for a contrary decision.  

At least there was a decision.  Go ahead, continue to do what you want.

It is very appropriate that we are a coastal community.  Like the water you sometimes need to scoop from the ocean, decisions in this town on too many things are clearly formed using the most convenient container at your disposal.  

You want a piece of advice to follow.  Stop grabbing a container with holes in it.  Sooner or later, the water seeps out and just makes a big mess.

If you are reading this and asking yourself what the heck is he talking about, watch the meeting, because if I try to attempt to provide "detail" this blog is not going to meet the rules for posting.

But for the record, was I a bit angry last night, just a tad upset, at the end of the meeting. Absolutely.  Seething would be an actually appropriate term.

A slow simmer turns to a roiling boil to sit there, and at the close of the meeting, in the now infamous selectmen blurb segments to hear another issue raised about how we need to start addressing that problem soon.  A problem that has been in need of addressing for years.  A problem for which concerns have been raised over and over again.  A problem for which warning bells have been sounding louder and louder as time progresses.  A problem which is absolutely known to existing members. A problem that the minute it is raised we should be hearing those annoying disclaimers about conflicts, potential conflicts, etc. etc. A problem which gets less time spent on it than setting meeting schedules does.  

Again I have to stop.  Because in my mind, as potentially warped as it may be, I somehow feel that a $4.5 million dollar issue deserves more than periodic reference to being a problem.  

Too think I made the decision to leave the Town Study Committee meeting to go to the Selectmen's meeting. 

That has to show you I guess just how warped my thought process can be. 

One holds the real promise for necessary action.  The other more often than not turning into a meeting that attendance at has to be my subconscious demanding I do some form of penance.

I sit here and think back over the past twenty +/- years of what I call "active" involvement.  Today, there come to mind five decisions I truly regret having made.  Four of those I probably will never tell you.  I will probably at some point tell you the fifth, and most recent, just not today.

How is that a relevant statement, probably not at all.

Maybe I am just spinning wheels at this point.  

There is a point I do want to make though.  I want to clear the air.  I have been asked too many times recently what's my motive for showing up at so many meetings recently.  Not that anyone should ever have to explain why they attend any meeting, to quash some of the guesses, note: 

Reason No.1 - I probably am dumber than I look.  Reason No. 2 - See the penance reference above. Reason No. 3 -  I believe in practicing what you preach.

What is absolutely not a reason: I am definitely not running for selectman next April.  Neither do I presently possess any thought or intent of doing so any year after that.  I won't say never because my cracked crystal ball can only see so far into the future.  However if you were to lay down a bet, I would suggest it be a very small amount for extremely long odds.

Enough for today, maybe too much for today and in some ways not enough.  

Be safe.